A long time ago... three weeks ago... I had hope for the Mideast. On Saturday night with the declaration of the cease fire I felt that hope come alive! An emotional upsurge of the possibilities of peace, hope and change rushed through me... yet, I can't help but wonder if I'm only a naive idealist when it comes to conflict. I study conflict. I'm doing a Master's in Politics, with a focus on Conflict... but what does that mean? I see videos from Israeli friends... what the media is perpetuating in Israel... and I think to myself... this is not just elite manipulation... Israelis believe this... they believe that their very existence is threatened to the core. For the first time, I saw videos of suicide bombings in Tel Aviv and pictures taken by an Israeli friend from Sderot.
On the Palestinian side... I've seen enough... enough devastation, hurt and pain to last me a lifetime. Why did I want to study conflict in the first place? It feels so far from home... from Trinidad and Tobago... from peace... from my love, the ocean, where everything seems so simple... and God seems omnipresent. How will I ever continue promoting peace in a world like this? But yet I have to... I have to find the strength and move on... keep smiling no matter what. This conflict has devastated me to the very core... it has challenged me and it's also made me think. I've experienced a great deal of personal change during this whole thing... from losing hope, to working hard to regain it... to listening to people around me from all different backgrounds. I've now became friends with most of the people at LSE's Israeli society and I'm already friends with all those in PalSoc.... the Palestinian society. I'm still reaching out... seeking answers... asking the questions why... and more importantly how can we change this.
Who is right and who is wrong? Or is that question even worth answering anymore? Is it black and white... I wish it were... but it doesn't seem to be anymore. And why is so much time being spent on saying "Israel, you are wrong" or "Hamas, you are wrong." Is being right or wrong going to change anything? Is the possibility of peace alive? How do you change something that is so conditioned into the mindset of a people that it becomes a part of their identity? How do you rebuild trust after devastation? I feel that I lack the necessary tools... yet I've studied peace and conflict for such a long time and undergone various trainings in conflict resolution. I'm at a loss for words...for one of the first times in my life...
Maybe tomorrow will be different... the long awaited day. Obama finally becomes the President of the U.S. Maybe, just maybe, change will no longer be just a word and hope will be alive....
