Obama- Election Day!!!!

It's now 6:51 am in London and I'm awake, too excited to even sleep. Is this the day that we have been dreaming of for the past months? Will the Democratic nominee, Barack Obama, become the first African American president of the USA?

My heart beat is racing and I want to believe: in change, in Obama, and most importantly, in the American people. The political debates happening at the London School of Economics have been both interesting and intellectually stimulating! Yet, so many people here seem extremely critical of the American people. Many are discounting the polls and wondering if Obama will even be elected.

I choose to dream... because whether Obama wins or not... there is no doubt in my mind that he has changed America's political outlook and that he has drastically changed the way future political campaigns will be run, through the effective use of the internet. For one thing, many of my previously politically apathetic American friends now care about the elections! They're standing up for the candidate they believe in! Most of their facebook profiles say "X has donated his status to Barack Obama/ John Mc Cain.... click here to join the cause." For me this is a dream come true! This represents such an important change since the 2004 elections, where Facebook or Youtube weren't even used as media to canvas for votes and where many of my friends didn't care about voting or working on the campaign trail. This year for the first time many of them gave up the opportunity to have real, stable jobs and spent the year on the road, all over the US, canvassing: for Hilary, for Obama or for Mc Cain.

So whatever the outcome of this elections... Obama has made the American people hope, believe and show the world what they're truly made of. Today, for the first time in history, Americans can cast a vote for an African American President. On the campaign trail, you see many faces of elderly African American voters: the awe, the wonder, the disbelief. After so many years, an African American was running for President. How many generations had suffered through slavery and discrimination for this day to come?

So, in spite of what may/ may not happen, my heart and my vote (lol... if I were American) goes out to Barack Obama! Thanks for believing in the American dream! Thanks for believing in the young people... for empowering us... and for making us believe that we can change the world!!!! These truly are some of the most precious gifts in life!

Forgiveness...

After Caux and the declaration I made below, I felt like a huge burden was off my shoulders. I had decided to forgive my dad, and once the mental decision had been made I felt that it was only a matter of time before I would actually follow through with that decision.

I was wrong. I got to Trinidad and Tobago on the 25^th of July, but for the first two weeks, I really felt that I could not go through with it. How would he react? Would I be able to forgive him? Did I really want to re-establish my relationship with him? I went through a period of questioning and reanalyzing who I was and the lessons I had learned in life and Alhamudillah (Thank God) the analysis led me to the same decision I had made the first time.

With the help and motivation of a good friend, AV, I continued on my path- to follow through with my Caux intention. Something he said in advising me on my relationship with my dad stuck with me and I’ll share this with you, the reader, because I truly believe that they are words of wisdom that all people can live by, “open your heart and be brave.” It sounds so simple, but yet it is extremely difficult. Opening one’s heart is a grave task, for it means that you are opening yourself to extreme risks.

I waited until the right moment, when I felt that God was calling me to pick up the phone and call my dad… and I just did it. No turning back… I faced the evil which had haunted me for the past twelve years. As fate would have it, my dad answered the phone and was pleasantly surprised to hear my voice. He talked for over half an hour about family affairs and then I just said, “Dad… for everything that you’ve ever done wrong I forgive you… for all of it.” He immediately replied “Allah (God) has truly blessed us both. I’ve waited for this moment patiently for a very long time, Asiya.”

I forgave him and allowed him the space to reestablish his relationship with me. I was scared, I had no idea how to recommence a relationship with him, but I knew that God would guide us. Every couple days we would call each other and just talk- first about the Olympics (my dad’s a big sports fan!), then about the changing international political system and nuclear proliferation (he’s also a big IR buff, even if he never studied IR), and then just about us…. who I was as a younger girl and who I had become as a young woman.

Today, I left for Cyprus. I know that our road is not an easy one... but a famous saying says that a long journey starts with one step and we’ve started. I also know that he’ll make mistakes again, get angry again, and perhaps there’s the chance that he will repeat what happened twelve years ago. The difference now is that I’m willing to take the risk and to give him a second chance. Maybe he’ll surprise me…. maybe he won’t. But after all, he is my father, and in so many ways, I’ve been influenced by his thought.

I’m so happy I’ve forgiven him. People often confuse the words forgive and forget. I more than likely will never forget what happened and how hurt I was, but I can forgive. I forgave him for me… not for him… but for me… because I needed to move on in my own life. I could no longer continue to be ruled by the past. For memory, after all is subjective. Maurice Halbwachs, a famous sociologist, argued many decades ago that memory was collective instead of individual and continuous instead of disparate. I totally agree with him… and I refuse to live the present because of the past.

So goodbye hatred and fear… and welcome love and forgiveness! It felt like I jumped off a cliff that morning at Caux… but angels walked with me. Alhamdudillah…. And thanks so much for all the wonderful people who helped me through this journey- JB, ML, KA, RR, DR, CA, AV, MB. And many thanks to the Man above… who sent all these wonderful people into my life to inspire me to change my own life before I change the world :)

Perspectives

During the Caux conference, "Addressing the Root Causes of Human Insecurity," I was asked by colleagues to speak during perspectives (a 15 minute time period allotted each morning for participants to address the entire conference.) I knew what I needed to say but I really felt like I was walking off a cliff when I read this in front of 400 people at my conference. Allah (God) walked with me... and my friends were there at my side. Many, many thanks to RR, ML, and JB for all their support and encouragement.

"The past four days of this Human Security conference have changed my life in ways that I can barely describe and for this I thank every one of you tremendously. I’ve had the opportunity to meet truly amazing people and I’ve been deeply touched by your stories of courage, honesty and forgiveness in the face of hatred, genocide and fear. Specifically, I want to say thank you to Mark bin Bakar, John Bond, and Tom Getman for sharing their personal stories of the role of forgiveness and apology in finding inner peace.

You have given me the courage to stand here and share my own story with you. My parents have been divorced since I was thirteen years old and it greatly changed my life. I always blamed myself for what happened and my world fell to pieces around me when my dad left. Somehow, with the help of my mom and my family, I managed to pick up the pieces and move on with the new awareness that my dad would no longer be a part of my life. He had always believed in me, embodied my hopes and dreams and challenged me to be a better person and just like that he was gone. The divorce became final and my life changed forever.

I’ve held unto this hurt and pain for the past 12 years and I have very rarely shared my personal story with anyone. Two years ago, my dad called me for the very first time, in ten years. I had no idea what to say to him and even though I still love him I knew I could not let him be a part of my life again.

Since the beginning of this conference I’ve been extremely engaged and challenged by most of the speakers here, and I have learned a great deal from your courage, idealism and hope. Initiatives of Change has taught me that before I can change the world, I must change myself. After this conference, I fly home and I have decided to forgive my dad and set myself free."

"Who are my people?"

I wish to focus on one particular speech on the opening night of the Caux Forum on Human Security which caused me to ponder and reflect on my role in creating world peace. This speech was written and delivered by Rajmohan Gandhi; author, journalist, and professor, who has been associated with Initiatives of Change since 1956. He has kindly allowed me to reproduce his speech on my blog for those who weren't able to be at Caux this summer.

"Let me first speak of why we are in Caux.

We are in Caux because Caux is where, over years and decades and by God's blessings, hearts have been touched, consciences brought to life, hands extended to enemies or to people in need, and minds challenged.

But Caux would not be Caux if it were not in Switzerland. Without the Swiss people, the Swiss authorities and the Swiss landscape there would be no Caux. It is the Swiss people's sense of their role and their open hearts that have created Caux and kept Caux going. May I therefore salute the Swiss landscape, the Swiss authorities, and the Swiss people, as everyone here would want to?

The experts who will speak during the first Caux Forum for Human Security, and the moderators who will moderate the discussions, are people who know what they will be talking about. They are seasoned people deeply involved in different aspects of human security. Their lives, their hearts and their minds have been engaged with human security. The rest of us are I think lucky to be able to listen to them and interact with them.

But please look carefully at the questions they are going to have to answer. Why is trust important? What are the underlying causes of armed conflict? How do socio-economic, environmental, religious or cultural factors add to insecurity?

These are basic questions. You might call them simple or rudimentary questions. There is nothing so fascinating as posing elementary questions to seasoned experts. It obliges experts to simplify their logic and their language. This will be welcomed by the rest of us. And I rather suspect that they, the experts, will welcome this chance to express what they really belive, to spell out key lessons from their experience.

The other fascinating thing about the coming days is that we will have not speeches or debates but a conversation. What a relief! Debaters and public speakers seek to influence not their fellow debaters but their audience. In a conversation we seek to understand and influence our fellow conversers, and we are ready to be influenced ourselves by them and by our own reflection on what we have listened to.

To have a conversation, in Caux, in Switzerland, on human security, and to have it now, in July 2008 -- not many things can be more interesting.

After the Second World War all of Europe came to Caux. Relationships were built and restored, and a European community was created. Nowadays we move naturally across this community forgetting that what happened was quite astonishing and unlikely. During the coming days representatives from many continents will meet one another and form relationships that God willing will help in emergence of a global community.

When Mohandas Gandhi decided he would aim to liberate and transform India he was a member of a so-called high-caste group from the majority Hindu community of India confronting a European power that held India under its seemingly permanent grip.

But Gandhi made up his mind that the so-called low-castes and untouchables of India, the Muslims and Christians and Sikhs and Buddhist and Jews and Parsis of India, were also his people. Many others followed him and India became more than a geographical space- it became a community.

And although he fought British rule with a steely resolve, he made up his mind that the British too were his people, and indeed the British people gave Gandhi their friendship and respect.

I believe that during the coming conversation we will do well to ask ourselves another question not listed on the agenda but very much implied: Who are my people? Who are my people, and who are not my people?

Finally, a thought regarding this juncture of time. The computer, the internet, and the cell phone have made our age the age of the citizen. Powerful governments, oppressive governments, powerful or oppressive castes, interests, majority groups, tribes, and clans are now weaker in their equation with the ordinary citizen.

How citizens can reinforce one another across boundaries and oceans, and how we the citizens can free ourselves from what binds or burdens us or checks our creativity, so that we can influence governments- to ask these questions is another reason why we are here.

Let me end with a prayer in the shape of a vision.

"In this age of the citizen, innocence will have power, decency will have power, the weak will gather strength, individuals will take simple actions and reinforce one another and influce governments, and together, God willing, we will say to tyrant individuals or tyrannical governments, to coercive groups and to ourselves: cruelty, oppression and indifference shall not prevail."

It is of course quite mad to utter a vision of this kind. Some will say it is mad even to utter such a prayer. However, the victims of great suffering may not object."
- Rajmohan Gandhi, 18 July 2008, Caux


The question of "who are my people" is a rather important one. You, the reader, should spend time really thinking and analyzing this question, for once you start identifying one group of
people as your people, the other group(s) by default are not your people.

I have spent years asking the same question and I have come to the conclusion that I am a global citizen and that all the citizens of the world are my people. I will do everything in my power to
help create a peaceful and safe world, secure from hatred, greed and anger.

Human Security?

Those who know me know that I love to organize, plan events and to meet people. So what better job could there be than that of a conference organizer? I really enjoy my job and I am quite happy that I spent the past few months working with Initiatives of Change. The Human Security conference promises to be not only interesting, but inspiring.

Sitting here on the third floor in Caux, admiring the absolutely gorgeous view outside, I realize that I am both nervous and anxious for the conference to begin. Participants start arriving today. CB and MM come sometime this afternoon and so do our other conference assistants. It's been great so far, and I've enjoyed welcoming Caux scholar alumni and other participants to Caux. I am so excited about this Human Insecurity conference and once it begins, I know I'll want it to last forever:) In light of my excitement, I have been reflecting on human insecurity.

What does "Addressing the Root Causes of Human Insecurity" mean to the world and how can the idea of human security be translated into a reality that the average person understands and can implement into his daily life? Recent press coverage on security has been overwhelmingly aimed at a discussion on national security- terrorism, war and conflict. But how is human security different than national security and how do we (you and I) work together to address this difference?

When I think of human security, I think of basic needs such as water, food, shelter and protection from armed conflict. In the media, in addition to articles on war and conflict, we now find ourselves bombarded by a new type of articles that discuss environmental security, economic security and food security, instead of only "national security." Topics that may not have been on your and my agenda before this year are now at the center of our conversations and our attention. How do we deal with higher food prices and the escalating price of gas? The conflict is no longer a world way; it has come home and it is now affecting our daily lives. How do we work together to solve these problems, not just after they occur but before? Can we work together in an efficient manner? How can Initiatives of Change add new inspiration and provide, through its spiritual emphasis, a new dimension of examining human security?

These questions and others will be answered in the Caux Forum on Human Security taking place in Caux between July 18 and July 23rd. We are in the process of setting up a Human Security conference blog for your input. Keep reading and I'll provide that web link as soon as it's ready.

The power of sorry...

Recently the Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, apologized for the "indignity and degradation" it caused to Aboriginals and specifically those of the stolen generation. Millions around the country joined the government in saying sorry to Aboriginals in a mass emotional outpouring. Aboriginals could be seen hand in hand with Australians as the government officially acknowledged Aboriginal history and pain. Yet, this apology by Prime Minister Rudd did not happen overnight.

JB, along with other members of the Australian National Sorry Day Committee worked persistently for ten years across Australia, within the grass roots and the parliament, before the government finally decided to make a formal apology to the Aboriginal people. But why did this apology, as shown in the video above, move millions of people to tears and mean so much to both the Aboriginal and Australian people?

Why was an apology so important? For decades, various International Relations scholars have minimized the importance of ideas in predicting the behavior of states, and yet ideas hold such a critical effect that they can never be ignored. For the Australian Aboriginals who had suffered immensely, acknowledgment of their pain and history was the first step in healing the wounded memories from decades gone past. Shortly after Australia made its apology, Canada followed by issuing a similar apology.

I was very moved by this Caux presentation from the Initiatives of Change Australia team, who did a tremendous amount of work to make the idea of a National Sorry Day become a reality. Yet, I wondered about the significance of saying sorry. What effect would saying such a simple word have on my life? One of the Australians who spoke mentioned that before he could work toward an official apology from the Australian government, he first had to make amends with his own brother. One of the philosophies of Mahatma Gandhi that has been adopted by Initiatives of Change is to “be the change that you see in the world.” Gandhi emphasized the importance of personal change before social change. Yet how did this affect me?

I began wondering about the power of apology in my own life. Like many of us, I have made several mistakes in life. Making mistakes seem to be a natural part of life. The true strength, according to JB, is in first recognizing our mistakes and then having the strength to apologize for them. Forgiveness and reconciliation are keys to change. When we hold on to wounded memories, we burden ourselves with emotional baggage. JB mentioned that our bitterness ends up affecting us more than it affects the other person.

For years I have been carrying around a burden with me in my own life and it has negatively affected my present and past situation. So maybe the time has finally come: for me to apologize, put my pride away, and say, “I’m only human, I made a mistake and I’m sorry.” Easier said than done, but I know that if I find the strength to apologize, it will set me free.

My first step lay in recognizing that I am no more perfect or imperfect than anyone else and that each of us makes mistakes. Our strength comes from having the ability to recognize our mistakes and making amends for them. For in the sight of God no one is perfect.

I made a list of all the people I wanted to apologize to and I’m going to say I’m sorry. For if the Australian government could apologize for the way it treated an entire generation of people, who am I not to say sorry?

Caux, Switzerland

After a delayed flight from London, Heathrow, I finally made it into Geneva. I was excited to be here and more excited to get to Caux. On the plane, I met a wonderful Bahamian gal. Switzerland was her break from regular life and she looked forward to her summers here! What a wonderful life to be able to enjoy vacations in Europe! I'm even more thankful that I have this opportunity to be in Caux this summer. I love my job and I'm so excited for the Human Security conference to start!

Upon boarding the train from Montreux to Caux, I met the conference coordinator of the Global Servant Leadership conference. As I was arriving, she was returning to Ukraine. On board the train, I realized that I had forgotten how beautiful Caux was. Located in the middle of the Alps and overlooking Lake Geneva, the place itself seems to be a physical symbol for the word "peace." No wonder it has been the location of forgiveness, peacebuilding and reconciliation since World War two. Majestic green Alpine trees, the crystal clear blue water of Lake Geneva and the beauty of it all meant that I was really here- back in Caux.

Walking into the doors and checking into my room was quite an overwhelming feeling. I came by myself, but yet I did not feel alone. I felt as if all the other Caux Scholars were here with me. This place holds so many good memories: lively political discussions in the Villa Maria, our trip to the United Nations in Geneva, late nights and dancing at the Caux Cafe and amazing, amazing Caux scholars and faculty whom I had the great honor of meeting. I really feel like they are all here with me and I can't wait for those Caux Scholar alumni who will return for the reunion and the conferences.

On the other hand, I realize that my experience in Caux this summer will be different. This is a new beginning. In my position as Conference Coordinator for the Human Security conference, I will experience a whole different aspect of Caux: the inner workings, the administation and logistic side of the conference, and most importantly how people work in harmony to create a space for reconciliation and forgiveness to take place. I'm about to learn how to create peace and I'm super excited!

Goodbye London...

So tomorrow I head off to Caux, Switzerland for the Initiatives of Change conference, "Addressing the Root Causes of Human Insecurity." I am extremely excited about the conference and before I move on to my Swiss experience I want to complete my London experience!

I absolutely LOVE London. I had a wonderful experience riding the Big Bus tour bus for two and a half hours around London and seeing everything from Big Ben, the Westminster Parliament, the Westminster Abbey to the Florence Nightingale Hospital. The Big Bus tours are given in about 10 different languages and a ticket includes a pass for 24 hours, a free City River Cruise on the Thames River, and three guided walking tours, which include seeing the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace.

Riding on the Thames on a beautiful Thursday morning was quite an invigorating experience. Since I was a little girl, I've loved the water and the Thames was no different. I never imagined in my life that I would actually see Globe Theater, famous for Shakespeare's plays or the London bridge. How beautiful to see the bridge opening and closing in front of me! This cruise and a ride on the London Eye, the largest observatory in the world, is definitely a must for all tourists.

Today, I spent the entire day walking around LSE, doing the self guided tour, the library tour, speaking with professors in DESTIN and the Government department and getting a feel of the University. I absolutely love it and thank Allah everyday for this amazing opportunity that has been bestowed at me... to study at the world's leading social science institute. It truly is a dream come true.

Finally, many thanks to my best friend, AB, who kindly invited him to stay with me, introduced me to London, enlightened me about Third Culture, and accompanied me to some of the best restaurants in London!

First impressions, London!!!

It was difficult saying goodbye to everyone. I couldn’t believe that I was leaving all my BFFs in the United States and moving to London. It seemed like such a scary move and I found myself on the plane to London quite ambivalent: excited to be in London, but sad to leave Washington, a place I’ve loved from the very first day I set eyes on it.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by the people I met in London and their small but most welcome acts of kindness: the Somalian lady dressed in the burqa at Heathrow who assisted me in connecting both suitcases; the Indian Hospitality undergraduate student I met on the tube; the young British gentlemen who all so willingly and eagerly assisted me with transporting my suitcases; and the extremely kind cab driver who drove me to Greencoat Place.

In my journey to finding my path to peace, I’ve met various people along the way and thanked Allah tremendously for those angels He places in my path. On the plane, I was a wee bit worried about getting to Greencoat Place, toting suitcases and all. But, as always, Allah provided for me. Now I sit here in this beautiful Initiatives of Change center in Victoria, London surrounded by the philosophies of Frank Buchman and the work and initiatives of IofC. It already feels like such a warm and friendly place that I could see myself spending a lot of time here and initiating various programs for youth and women in IofC London. It’s all very exciting.

Funny how when you move to a new country you experience all these oddities and yet I felt very prepared. The journey through the tube was much, much easier than any other journey I’ve had through the New York Subway. So I’ve decided I like London. Next stop: Westminster Parliament. I’m excited to see where Gordon Brown works and where all these decisions that affected my life and the life of all those in the British colonies took place!

Goodbye

Five years ago, I followed a personal dream and moved to the United States. It was the sacrifice I was willing to make to pursue a Bachelors in International Relations, which was not offered by the St. Augustine campus at the University of West Indies in Trinidad. More than that... I wanted to "go away." I knew there was a whole new world outside of Trinidad and studying in the US was my connection to the rest of the world.

I had no idea that after moving to the US my life would change so much and that I would travel all over the world. After all, in these past 5 years, I've traveled more than I have in the 20 years prior to this and many of my dreams have come true. I've sand surfed in the Sahara desert in Egypt; explored the beautiful caravan city of Petra in Jordan; conserved tortugas negras (black turtles) in Colola, Mexico; met with noble peace prize winners and past militants in Northern Ireland; partied in Ireland; explored Kuwait; and visited the most beautiful center for reconciliation and forgiveness in Caux, Switzerland. I had a fabulous time in each country and learned so much about myself and this journey called life. One sentence pretty much sums up my travels "voy a ir donde mi vida me llave... I'll go wherever life takes me." And life has taken me to meet some of the most amazing people in the world and truly learn about myself:)

What I did not count on was that life was going to take me to pursue a Masters degree in London:) Studying at the LSE is going to be a dream come true, but moving from Washington to London is going to be one of the more difficult moves I've had in my life. I have exactly 6 days left in the great USA... and it all seems so surreal. I still can't believe I'm leaving. I've changed so much in these 5 years. I've grown up and become a better person. I've become a global citizen and a leader.

Perhaps, maybe this move is not goodbye forever. I hope to return one day for either a PhD/JD. After all, some of the most amazing people I've met in life have been Americans. They've challenged me, inspired me, welcomed me warmly and always encouraged me to strive for the best.

To Lehigh University, I will always be indebted... my alma mater for life. Thank you, thank you so much to Lehigh staff, faculty, alumni and students. I can never put into words how my Lehigh scholarship changed my life, by allowing me to study under some of the top IR scholars in the world and by sending me to study in Egypt, Washington, Mexico and Northern Ireland. It was truly an honor to be a Lehigh student and now a young alumna. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To six of my best friends whom I met in America (JA, JT, DF, MM, SG, AB) thank you all for giving me the world- for teaching me, accepting me for who I am, loving me and still inviting me to grow. I've gone through the best and worst times with each of you... and as Egyptians would say, shukran kitir (a million thanks). I love you all and will always keep you in my heart and mind:)

To my co-workers at Initiatives of Change, I have learned so much from all of you. I've enjoyed working as conference coordinator on the Human Security conference and I've grown as a person. Thank you for imparting Frank Buchman's philosophy into my life and for embracing me whole heartedly as a leader and as a Caux scholar. I truly hope to "be the change that I see in the world," as Gandhi- ji encouraged.

To all those of you who have changed my life in some small way (too many names to mention), thank you so much! I will take the lessons that you have taught me with me every step of the way.

As the quotation says "take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back." Thank you all so much... and Alhamdudillah that I was blessed to meet such wonderful people and experience this great opportunity of living in the United States of America.

"A Simple Path..."

I've recently been reflecting on my personal relationships with friends. I came across these words of wisdom by Mother Theresa:

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway."

— Mother Teresa, A Simple Path

I have found these verses very true and applicable in my life. Recently, someone I would consider a good friend, accused me of being insincere and manipulative. I always thought that those around me knew me best... but for her to be so off kilter in her analysis of me, quite frankly shocked me. Why did things change so quickly? How can someone be so wrong, but not realize it? More importantly, how can I transform this situation into a peaceful one?

I have a background in conflict resolution and through this personal conflict I have realized that meditation is better than mediation. I prayer to God and trust that He will direct my life. I plan to always give the world (my family and friends) the best I have, even if it may never be enough and I plan to be kind even if people accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives. Because, as Mother Theresa says, in the final analysis, it is only between me and God.

Life and death...

This morning I woke up to the very sad news that one of the members of my fellowship, FL, passed away yesterday. I had never actually met her... but I had planned to meet her in London in the fall. She was beautiful, thirty two years old and was about to be married to the love of her life in August. Her death came as a shock to all of us. I've been struck by the outpouring of love for her: the times she made others smile, the dinners together, the impact she had on others' lives, the way she lived every moment to its fullest.

More than that, for almost the first time in my life, I realize that life is such an unpredictable thing. We can't plan for tomorrow, because we don't know where we'll be tomorrow... so all that matters is today. I started this blog with the intention of finding my own path to peace and of engaging others on the journey with me. I've always felt that I'll wait until I have that PhD or JD to make a difference in the world. I've always felt so helpless. What can I possibly do now? I don't have the resources or the capacity to change the world.... but today I realized that my time on this planet may be very limited.

So there's no more waiting. I'm not going to wait until I'm academically qualified to change the world. I'll start now... by helping others on a daily basis. Life itself is evanescent and all around me I'm surrounded by angels who provide signs to guide me on my own path. I need to spend more time listening to God- and building my relationship with God.

And to FL... her true beauty lies in the little things that she did for others.... her smile, her compassion and her warmth. That's really what life is about... the little things... not changing the world... but impacting those around you... those next to you... the people you love and care about in your life.

So I'm going to make right all the wrongs I have done so far. I'm going to apologize to those I've been waiting until tomorrow to apologize to....in the hope that I'll find the true path to God.

Here is a song that one of FL's friends shared, in lamenting her recent death. Rest in peace, dear... I never met you, but we all grieve for you... rest in peace... and God's blessings for the next leg of your journey.

The Ethnic Conspiracy

In my search for peace, I have long pondered the role of ethnicity, culture and religion. Do ethnicity, culture and religion work to bring us together to achieve a common goal or do they have the opposite effect in dividing us even further? Below is an abbreviated version of an essay that I wrote for a recent graduate school application. I didn't get into this particular school but I loved the essay. This is my own personal journey in coming to terms with my identity and I have chosen the title "the ethnic conspiracy."

THE ETHNIC CONSPIRACY

Throughout the world ethnicity has been viewed as a dividing rather than a unifying factor. Differences in skin color and hair texture have been used as justifications for slavery, murder and rape. Ethnicity, along with politics and economics, has been categorized as a main cause for genocides and holocausts occurring in the twenty-first century.

My most poignant memory of reports of the ongoing Sudanese genocide is that of a young boy with brown hair and grey eyes, who had been classified in government lists as an African Sudanese. He begged his killers for his life pleading “please don’t kill me, I promise I won’t be African anymore.” Why has ethnicity been used as a tool of war and what is the mystery behind the racial divide?

As a constructivist, I believe that ethnicity is not real but is instead a social construction. It has been been developed by man over millenia and has transformed through social practices. Scientists have proven that genetically we are all 98% exactly alike. The race theory which divides the globe’s population into three main categories: negroids, mongoloids and caucasoids, has never been validated by science and therefore, it remains only a theory.

Why then, if race is not a real phenomenon, does my reality look so different? Why do I feel that my life is affected by the color of my skin? Is it just a personal discomfort that I experience or is racism real? Too many times I have heard friends say, "that is politically incorrect" or "let's not talk about race." Why does this race taboo exist and why do people shy away from engaging in the conversation on race?

I think of ethnic conflicts and racial divides in today's world and I feel sad, angry, hurt and disappointed. In my beautiful island of Trinidad and Tobago, my island paradise where “every race and creed finds and equal place,” racism is now more rampant than it has ever been in the history of the country. The “race card” is inherent in party politics and inflation, violence and crime is on the rise. Yet no one wants to talk about race. Why the silence? Will talking about rae end up hurting us? Must I forever live with the legacy of colonialism in my life?

Growing up in Trinidad and Tobago I have had a very unusual upbringing. I have embraced different ethnicities and religions as my own. I would often boast to friends that Trinidad and Tobago is like no other place in the world. As a Trinbagonian, my heritage is African, Indian, Chinese, Syrian and European all melted into one. When I describe this to my international friends... it is sometimes difficult for them to understand. Even though, physically, I may be considered Indian (my grandparents on both sides are Indian), I have never felt any more Indian than I have felt African. For me, both Africa and India are my lands of ancestry. My definition of my own identity demonstrates that ethnicity can be socially constructed and socially transformed. It is often influenced more by our environments than our blood line.

To create peace, we must engage in the conversation on race. But how can I (or we) address this problem on a global scale, or can we? If Gandhi's philosophy on change is right, then how do I (or you, the reader) represent the racial, ethnic and religious change that you want to see in the world? Perhaps I could work on starting an inter-racial dialogue among young people in my university to discuss race? Do you have any ideas on how you can contribute to the conversation on race?

Please feel free to post comments and suggestions! I would love to hear your opinion on this piece!

La Paz

For so long, I've heard the word "peace" mentioned. Naturally, I do hold a Bachelors degree in International Relations with a minor in Peace Studies... so hearing the word "peace" is a part of my everyday life. But what does peace really mean and how does it translate into our every day life?

As young professionals, most of us go to work do our best and if we aren't enrolled in graduate programs, we find some avenue of getting involved and engaging ourselves. Yet it's quite clear that many of us feel dis-empowered. We feel that change is an illusion that crumbles when tested in the real world. The recent election of Barack Obama as the presidential nominee for the Democratic party, however, destroyed the idea that peace and change are merely illusions. He made the issues very real and refused to be undermined by the status quo.

What can my generation do? How do we create peace within our own lives and then spread these ideas to our family, communities and societies?

The definition of peace is as follows:

1. The absence of war or other hostilities.
2. An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities.
3. Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmonious relations: roommates living in peace with each other.
4. Public security and order: was arrested for disturbing the peace.
5. Inner contentment; serenity: peace of mind.

So how do we achieve peace and is it just an inevitable dream that we all harbor somewhere deep within us?